Six months. A lot can happen in that amount of time. So here we are, six months since that night I confessed everything. Has my situation improved at all? Well I know for sure my JW family is not pleased with me. They pretty much kicked me out. I'm 22. There was really no excuse to stay home anymore anyway. It was time I moved on.
Yes, I'm now completely moved out of my old house, which proved to be more of an emotional prison over the last six months than a true home. Constantly berated, in large ways and in subtle ways. My motives were constantly questioned. They suspected I was doing some bad things based off of faulty logic and reasoning on their part. I guess I should have seen that coming. That's how the JW's view people who aren't one of them. They must be drug addicts, drunks and sex fiends if they aren't JW's. Okay, maybe I drink a little bit (a lot) but I know of plenty of JW's who did that. They're really no better than those they claim are wicked. They put on a suit of superiority but I know better.
Having moved out, my life as a JW is officially over. No more pressure from the parents to conform to the cult. No more unwelcomed visits from elders. No more visits from ones who claimed to be friends and dropped me like a bad habit. Sure they'd come by claiming to want to see how I was doing but every time it turned into a discussion of why I need to go back to meetings. The person who used to be my closest friend just moved into a new place and didn't even think to invite me to the housewarming party. Yeah, I guess I can only be a friend under his terms. Some friendship.
I've replaced those "friends" with people who actually care about me unconditionally. I make mistakes and say stupid things and they brush it off. I don't have to filter my thoughts based on what the outcome is going to be. I'm open, honest with them and they appreciate me for it.
So yeah, things definitely have gotten better. It still sucks to lose people like I did and to lose the trust of my parents but its better than living a lie. I've got a new place where I reside with some non-JW family who care for me through thick and thin too. Yeah, I think I'm gonna be okay.
