Saturday, May 7, 2011

It's Been Six Months

Six months.  A lot can happen in that amount of time.  So here we are, six months since that night I confessed everything.  Has my situation improved at all?  Well I know for sure my JW family is not pleased with me.  They pretty much kicked me out.  I'm 22.  There was really no excuse to stay home anymore anyway.  It was time I moved on. 

Yes, I'm now completely moved out of my old house, which proved to be more of an emotional prison over the last six months than a true home.  Constantly berated, in large ways and in subtle ways.  My motives were constantly questioned.  They suspected I was doing some bad things based off of faulty logic and reasoning on their part.  I guess I should have seen that coming.  That's how the JW's view people who aren't one of them.  They must be drug addicts, drunks and sex fiends if they aren't JW's.  Okay, maybe I drink a little bit (a lot) but I know of plenty of JW's who did that.  They're really no better than those they claim are wicked.  They put on a suit of superiority but I know better. 

Having moved out, my life as a JW is officially over.  No more pressure from the parents to conform to the cult.  No more unwelcomed visits from elders.  No more visits from ones who claimed to be friends and dropped me like a bad habit.  Sure they'd come by claiming to want to see how I was doing but every time it turned into a discussion of why I need to go back to meetings.  The person who used to be my closest friend just moved into a new place and didn't even think to invite me to the housewarming party.  Yeah, I guess I can only be a friend under his terms. Some friendship.

I've replaced those "friends" with people who actually care about me unconditionally.  I make mistakes and say stupid things and they brush it off.  I don't have to filter my thoughts based on what the outcome is going to be.  I'm open, honest with them and they appreciate me for it. 

So yeah, things definitely have gotten better.  It still sucks to lose people like I did and to lose the trust of my parents but its better than living a lie.  I've got a new place where I reside with some non-JW family who care for me through thick and thin too.  Yeah, I think I'm gonna be okay. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

Why Preach?

The most important part of being a Jehovah's Witness is to preach.  They go door-to-door, they go to the street corners, they call people on the telephone.  It's really amazing that these people are capable of undertaking that.  I can't believe I could ever do it as well.  While I do have the utmost respect for people who can do that work, at the same time I can't help but notice how pointless the whole thing is. 

Pointless you say?  Why would it be pointless?  Well here's a couple points I thought of.  I have been told by many Jehovah's Witnesses that those who have not heard the "good news" will be judged at Armageddon by their heart condition.  Well then why should we preach?  If heart condition is the deciding factor, why are we trying to make them Jehovah's Witnesses?  If they won't be judged based on their status as JW's, why do we bother?  If they were to hear the message and reject it, would they be destroyed at Armageddon for rejecting it?  If I hadn't talked to them and not given them the chance to reject the message, would they have been spared at Armageddon?  If that's the case then I've caused the future judgement of a lot of people in my time.  I've talked to many people who turned away the message. I guess I would have been better off not preaching.  It would have ended up saving more people in the end. 

For that, and many other reasons (being the Watchtower literature's own words), I've come to the conclusion that JW's and the Governing Body think only JW's will survive Armageddon.  Saying that God judges hearts is a just a way for JW's to avoid saying they think the person they are talking to is dead meat at Armageddon.  JW's do a lot of double-talk to avoid saying what they really believe.  Just goes to show you how awful and absurd most JW's think their beliefs are.

Another point to consider is that if the JW's message is so urgent, why do they pick the least effective way of delivering that message?  Lives are supposed to at stake due to an apocalypse that is to occur any moment now.  Yet they choose to knock people's doors?  If you lived in New York City and government officials knew there was a problem with the drinking water, and they had only days until that drinking water reached people's taps, do you think they would send a small amount of people door-to-door warning people?  Obviously not.  They would utilize television, the radio. They might even impliment some sort of text message system to alert citizens.  Yet JW's use a ridiculously lousy method of reaching people. 

Lets also consider the hours that JW's spending preaching.  Each year they spend over 1 billion hours preaching.  It's a remarkable figure.  But let's take a second to look into that figure.  There are about 200,000 people baptized into the JW's each year.  We aren't even going to get into the amount that are disfellowshipped, become inactive or die.  Those numbers don't matter to my argument here.  Okay so for 1 billion hours preached, 200,000 are baptized.  That means it takes 5,000 hours of preaching to baptize one person.  That means that if we were to spend 8 hours per day preaching, not taking any days off, it would take us 625 days to baptize one person.  That's not far from two years.  There is a problem with that though.  How many of those baptized are JW children, coerced into getting baptized.  Of all the people I've seen baptized, the majority of them are JW children.  I'm going to give their numbers the benefit of the doubt and say that 1/4th baptized  are people that aren't children of JW's.  I doubt it is even close that high.  It would probably be more accurate to say it's around 1/10, but even that seems a little high.  I have no proof of that figure and there probably never will be any proof so this is just speculation.  However, any honest JW would probably agree with me.  By using the 1/4 number, that means it would take 20,000 hours of preaching to baptize one person.  That means it would take 2500 days at 8 hours per day to baptize one person.  That is nearly 7 years. 

Lets take that number and factor it even further.  Okay, based on our 1/4 number it is taking 20,000 hours to baptize one person.  The average amount of hours per month for JW's is around 10 hours preaching.  So the average JW spends 120 hours per year preaching. How many years would it take the average JW to baptize one person?  It would take them 166 years.  Yikes.  That doesn't seem very effective, does it?  What an unbelievable waste of time.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

How Do I Fill The Time?

One thing that can be said about the JW's, is that they are always kept busy.  If you aren't working, going to meetings or going out in service you are taking care of other necessary matters.  Its absolutely unbelievable how much of your life is taken up by being a JW.  So what am I using that time for now?

Mostly, I'd say I'm using it to relax.  I work M-F and have the weekends free.  Its refreshing to actually have the weekend off.  Usually I'll stay out late on Friday nights, hanging out with people.  That used to be a no-no, if I wanted to get up bright and early to knock on empty houses on Saturday mornings.  Instead, I sleep in now and find some nice activities to engage in during the day.  If I'm feeling up to it, I may even go out for a night on the town!  What about Sunday mornings?  I might take that opportunity to sleep in as well and get much needed rest to be ready for the week.  Heck, I might not do anything on Sunday.  That's the way I like it.  Nice and relaxing. 

It used to be that I wouldn't find any comfort in knowing the weekend was here.  Meetings and field service are pretty much work.  It was like working seven days a week.  That's not good for anybody.  I find my life doesn't have nearly as much stress as it used to.  I no longer have to plan things around meetings.  My time is my own.  It's unbelievable how satisfying that is. 

I know this is kind of a pointless, uninteresting post.  I just love being in charge of my life!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

So Grateful To Be Nowhere

The above quote is from a song called "Hateful" by The Clash.  The song is about a man who is addicted to drugs but I can relate to a lot of the lyrics.  Not that I'm addicted to drugs or anything.  Many religious people would say that I'm nowhere right now.  Nowhere in the sense that I am not tied to any religion anymore.  So as regards my belief in a higher power, where am I right now?

I would say I'm agnostic right now.  I can't say for sure that there is a God, at least not in the sense that many people believe.  At the same time, I'm not so egotistical that I'm going to say that there isn't a God.  Maybe you say that's a cop out.  It's just a way of avoiding picking sides.  You can say that all you like but in the end it comes down to uncertainty.  I commend people who can have that kind of faith in something.  I respect everybody's right to decide for themselves what they believe.  Most religions preach a "join us or die" message.  Do you really think that a loving God would be that blunt?  I would hope you wouldn't think that about a God who is deemed loving.

Many people base their belief in God on a belief that the Bible is his inspired word.  I have read the Bible front to back a couple times.  Due to many inconsistencies and some illogical passages, I can't agree with that sentiment.  Does that mean I throw God out the window?  Nope.  I only throw human understandings of a higher being out the window.  How could we, as imperfect, incredibly fallible humans, hope to ever understand a higher being?  I believe that the Bible has a good message.  Well, at least I believe the New Testament does.  That's where we have the story of Jesus.  I can't say for sure whether or not Jesus existed but I can say that the teachings tied to the Jesus of the Bible are certainly good for us to draw on, to become better husbands, wives, kids, people.  That you cannot debate.  There are good lessons for us to learn from there.  It is certainly worth a good read.

Am I a bad person in God's eyes?  I try to live an honest life.  I do my best to help others in any way I can.  I try put others ahead of myself.  Despite this, many people would say I'm going to go to hell or that I wouldn't survive Judgement Day.  Does that sound fair?  Does that sound reasonable?  I certainly don't think so.  Do I really deserve the same fate as a child rapist or a murderer, simply because I don't believe in your idea of God?  That doesn't sound like justice to me.

There have been a lot of bad things done in the name of religion.  There has been a lot of good that has come from religion.  Do I believe religion is the bane of society?  Absolutely not.  There are quite a few reasonable religious people.  After all, we all want to be happy.  Religion has helped many people attain self-satisfaction and happiness.  Good for them!  I applaud them for finding that.  It's not easy to locate, especially with all the trouble we have to deal with now.  As for me, I see a lot of lies and manipulation in religion.  I don't think I could ever find satisfaction in any religion. 

So I'm nowhere with religion right now.  I don't think I will ever join another one.  I'm just going to live my life and try my best to be a good person.  If that makes me wicked in God's eyes, so be it.  Frankly, I wouldn't want to worship a God that finds that wicked anyway.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Armageddon Imminent?

This is going to be a short post but something that has really bothered me lately.  One of the latest Watchtowers tells the us not "deceive ourselves with false reasoning" about Armageddon being a long way off and not right around the corner.  These kinds of comments bug me.  In order to understand why this bugs me so much we need to delve into a little deeper.

The idea behind this article is that many JW's are becoming discouraged because Armageddon hasn't come by now.  The problem with the Watchtower organization telling the JW's this is that the only reason they are discouraged is because the Watchtower keeps shoving it down their throats that it is right around the corner.

The Watchtower has been saying for 130 years how close Armageddon is.  Every magazine emphasizes the supposed nearness of Armageddon.  At every meeting, at every assembly, this is drilled into their heads.  Yet, somehow it's supposed to be the individual JW's fault for being discouraged that Armageddon hasn't arrived yet?  Way to blame the individual JW's for your failure. 

The Watchtower organization is unbelievably cruel.  Do they not know what kind of unnecessary guilt they are making their members have?  With articles like this, they are more like an abusive husband than a loving caretaker.  Do they honestly not understand this?  It's stuff like this that really bothers me.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Reaction of Family

There's something about family ties.  Family should love you unconditionally.  Yeah I understand if you are worried about your child, but is it worth it to make them feel worthless, that they are a screwup and that they would be better off dead?  Is this real, unconditional love? 

I know that the circuit overseer was visiting my congregation last week.  I know from things my mom and stepdad said.  If you are unfamiliar with what a circuit overseer is, they are charged with looking over a selected group of congregations all combined to form a circuit.  Several circuits together are called a district.  Likewise, there is a district overseer.

The circuit overseer's (CO) job is to keep things in order.  They are supposed to shepherd over the congregation.  It's funny how these people are treated like celebrities in the congregation.  Everyone jumps at the chance to kiss the CO's butt.  Many of them are high and mighty, lacking humility.  It's the opposite of what a shepherd should be but that's a subject for another day.

So the CO was in town last week and the elders in my congregation decided they would have him try to visit with me.  I don't know what they want with me.  I've told them my position is unflinching.  I guess they want to bring in the big guns hoping maybe I'll see the "light".  The last thing I want to do on my Saturday morning off of work is deal with my ideals being berated.  I'm happy enough to live and let live.  You feel free to believe what you want, I'll believe what I want.  I don't want to go after them in a vindictive fashion.  I don't want to change them.  I just want to live my life, in peace without dealing with the lack of love that comes with the choices I've made.  Is that really a lot to ask?

So our head elder (they were called the presiding overseer, but are now known as the coordinator of the body of elders.  Why they needed to change that, I don't know.)  called me up.  His call had woken me up early Saturday morning so I was not really in the mood to answer the phone.  About an hour goes by and I hear the door bell ring.  I know who it was.  My family wasn't home to answer the door, thank goodness.  Then they knock really loud for the next 5 minutes.  They know I'm home but I am not coming to the door.  I was just not in the mood to deal with that.

So when my mom goes to the meeting the next day and comes back, she had found out that I didn't answer the door.  She lays into me about how these people are trying to help me and that I should accept their help and not ignore them or push them away.  She was pretty upset with me.  I tried telling her how I was feeling at the time but she didn't care.  Why should my feelings matter on this issue anyway? 

A couple days go by and I decide to share an article with her.  I knew that if I share the article and my opinion on it and she talks to the elders about it, they will use this as showing that I am a dangerous apostate influence, trying to sway her faith.  That wasn't what I was trying to do.  I was just trying to get her to look at it from my point of view, unhindered by the JW goggles.  When you are involved in a cult, it's almost an impossible thing to do.  You would do anything to ignore even the obvious truths about your group.  Here's what the article says:

"Although the Bible makes a clear distinction between true and false teachings, God allows each person the freedom to choose how he or she will respond.  No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family." (Awake, July 2009, page 29 "Is It Wrong to Change Your Religion?")

I thought maybe this would touch her in a way that would make her see from a logical standpoint, that the shunning is not something that should be done.  In all reality, I'm being punished for a choice I made at the tender age of 12 years old.  How can you expect someone to comprehend that kind of a life-altering decision at that age?  You can't.  It's unreasonable.

Her response was less than kind.  To quote her, "Nobody is forcing you to make that decision. Nobody but you."  She doesn't seem to understand that by having my choice be to lose a good relationship with her, to believing what I believe is right, is tantamount to being forced to choose between my family and beliefs.  I just don't understand how she can't see it. 

I have discovered that there is a possibility I may not be disfellowshipped.  It's a small possibility but I realize the mistake I made in telling this to her.  If she tells the elders about this conversation, it's almost guaranteed I will be.  This has certainly been an wild and painful chapter of my life.  I don't wish this on anybody.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Purposefully Misleading Others (Part 2)

So lately I've been dealing a lot with the JW's stopping by, trying to change my mind.  I've pretty much informed them i'm not going to change my viewpoint.  Originally they had asked to compile a list of my issues and did start doing that.  Eventually I stopped because I didn't see the point.  I wasn't going to change my opinion.  However, I realized I can help others with this information.  If I can help one person, then it's worth it.  I already had a part 1 to this post.  Here's six more things I have an issue with:


1) "Only Jehovah's Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the great crowd, as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil." Watchtower 1989 September 1 p.19

Is it really fair that if you aren't a Jehovah's Witness you will be destroyed at Armageddon? Imagine that Jehovah's Witnesses are not the true religion, do you think it would be fair for God to destroy you because circumstances led you to being involved with the wrong religion?

2)"The brothers preparing these publications are not infallible. Their writings are not inspired as are those of Paul and the other Bible writers." Awake! 1993 Mar. 22 p.4

If that is the case, then where does new light come from? If their writings are not inspired from God, then why should we listen to them?

3) 587 the fall of Jerusalem. Using a simple time-line from Watchtower publications.

Babylon fell – 539 B.C.: “Babylon fell in 539 B.C.” - Babylon the Great Has Fallen – God's Kingdom Rules p.184

Nabonidus – started ruling in 556 B.C.: “On the basis of cuneiform texts he is believed to have ruled some seventeen years (556-539 BC).” Aid to Bible Understanding – Nabonidus p.1195

Labashi-Marduk – started ruling in 557 B.C.: “Labashi-Marduk... was a vicious boy, and within nine months he had his throat cut by an asssassin.” - Babylon the Great Has Fallen – God's Kingdom Rules p.184

Neriglissar – started ruling in 561 B.C.: “Neriglissar... reigned four years.” - Babylon the Great Has Fallen – God's Kingdom Rules p.184

Evil-Merodach – started ruling in 563 B.C.: “After reigning but two years, King Evil-Merodach was murdered” - Babylon the Great Has Fallen – God's Kingdom Rules p.184

Nebuchadnezzar – started ruling in 606 B.C.: “Nebuchadnezzar ruled as king for 43 years.” - Insight on the Scriptures, Volume 2 p.480

Date for destruction would be 19 years later in 587 B.C.: “And in the nineteenth year of King Nebuchadnezzar the servant of the king of Babylon, came to Jerusalem. And he proceeded to burn the house of Jehovah.” - 2 Kings 25:8-9

4) "If we were following a man undoubtedly it would be different with us; undoubtedly one human idea would contradict another and that which was light one or two or six years ago would be regarded as darkness now; But with God there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning, and so it is with truth; any knowledge or light coming from God must be like its author. A new view of truth never can contradict a former truth. … "New Light" never extinguishes older "light" but adds to it…" Zion's Watch Tower 1881 February pp.3, 188

So what Russell was saying that new light doesn't change doctrine but only refines it. It was correct but incomplete. You might say that the Governing Body is allowed doctrinal mistakes as Bible leaders in the past have made mistakes. The issue isn't whether individuals are imperfect, but whether or not their teachings are accurate. How many mistakes did God allow into the Bible?

Sure, maybe some of the early apostles made mistakes as well as ones such as Moses and David. This is a different issue all together. This isn't a question of if the Governing Body hold a perfect understanding of doctrine. The issue is whether the Governing Body is directed by the Holy Spirit as a group through prayer. Is Jehovah directing what is written in the Watchtower?

In the same line, what percentage of what the apostles wrote in the Bible wrong? The answer is zero because Jehovah directed it. What percentage of what the Governing Body has written in the Watchtower has been deemed wrong by their own admission?

5) Quotes about 1914:

"But bear in mind that the end of 1914 is not the date for the beginning, but for the end of the time of trouble. Zion's Watch Tower 1894 July 15 p.226
"...the battle of the great day of God Almighty. The date of the close of that "battle" is definitely marked in Scripture as October 1914. It is already in progress, its beginning dating from October, 1874." Zion's Watch Tower 1892 January 15 p.23
"Now, in view of recent labor troubles and threatened anarchy, our readers are writing to know if there may not be a mistake in the 1914 date. They do not see how present conditions can hold out so long under the strain. We see no reason for changing the figures - nor could we change them if we would. They are, we believe, God's dates, not ours. But bear in mind that the end of 1914 is not the date for the beginning, but for the end of the time of trouble." Zions Watch Tower 1894 July 15 p.226
6) Quotes about 1925:
"The date 1925 is even more distinctly indicated by the Scriptures because it is fixed by the law God gave to Israel. Viewing the present situation in Europe, one wonders how it will be possible to hold back the explosion much longer; and that even before 1925 the great crisis will be reached and probably passed." Watch Tower 1922 Sep. 1 p.262
"Our thought is, that 1925 is definitely settled by the Scriptures. As to Noah, the Christian now has much more upon which to base his faith then Noah had upon which to base his faith in a coming deluge." Watch Tower 1923 Apr. 1 p.106
"We cannot be blamed for presenting from the Scriptures such evidence as they afford which leads us to believe that a certain event will take place at a given time. Some times the Lord has let His people looking for the right thing at the wrong time, and more frequently they have looked for the wrong things at the right time. But all the enemies of the cause of present truth in the earth are fervently hoping that the Bible students will not be so successful in 1925 in looking for the right thing at the right time as they were in 1914. if they are, however, it will be the other fellow that will have to do the explaining, and not we." Golden Age 1924 Feb 13 p.314